The Princess Bride Guide to Cybersecurity: “I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means”

Introduction

If the ’80s gave us anything more valuable than parachute pants and cassette tapes, it has to be the masterpiece that is “The Princess Bride.” The same way Vizzini keeps misusing “inconceivable”, businesses often misunderstand key cybersecurity concepts.

Today, we’ll channel our inner Inigo Montoya to say, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means,” to some of the most misunderstood cybersecurity terminologies and practices. Buckle up, Buttercup!

Firewalls

The "Inconceivable" Backbone of Security

Much like Vizzini repeatedly exclaims “Inconceivable!” when things don’t go as planned, it might seem inconceivable that something as foundational as a firewall could be the cornerstone of your security posture. But just like Westley outsmarts Vizzini in a battle of wits, a robust firewall strategy can outsmart even the craftiest of cyber threats. It’s not just about blocking traffic; it’s about smartly managing it, understanding what to let in and what to keep out.

Passwords

"My Name is Inigo Montoya. You Hacked My Father. Prepare to Die."

A memorable line from the movie, but if Inigo Montoya used it as his password, he’d be hacked faster than Vizzini can incorrectly use “inconceivable.” A strong password isn’t something obvious or directly related to you. It needs a combination of elements to be truly robust. Plus, you know, multi-factor authentication.

Encryption

"Inconceivable!"

Just like Vizzini finds everything “inconceivable,” businesses often find encryption to be this impossible, complicated thing. It’s not! With modern tools, encrypting sensitive data is like outsmarting Vizzini in a game of wits—it’s simpler than you think, as long as you’re not drinking the poison.

Social Engineering

"I'm Not a Witch, I'm Your Wife!"

Miracle Max’s wife Valerie used the ruse of being a screaming witch to get her way. Similarly, hackers will often pretend to be someone they’re not to gain access to secure information. And if you believe them, just like Max did, you’re in for a world of pain, or worse, a data breach.

Legacy Systems

"Get Used to Disappointment"

Just like how Buttercup had to adjust her expectations when Humperdink promised to send his four fastest ships, businesses must realize that old legacy systems are a breeding ground for vulnerabilities. Like Vizzini, they may think they’ve got everything figured out, but these systems are only mostly dead. And mostly dead is slightly alive. Time to invest in some Miracle Max pills for your legacy systems, aka updates.

Phishing

"Mawage. Mawage is Wot Bwings us Togewer."

When Humperdink tried to rush the impressive clergyman through his wedding to Buttercup, it was like a phishing scam rushing you into clicking harmful links. Don’t fall for it. Read carefully and make sure you know what you’re committing to, or you might end up married to a monster—or malware.

Insider Direct

Because We're 100% Aligned With Your Business

Much like Westley’s unending devotion to Buttercup, Insider Direct by Secutor Cybersecurity is committed to serving your best interests. We offer cybersecurity products at our cost to save you 10-20%, all while assigning you an experienced cybersecurity professional (your own Dread Pirate Roberts!) for genuine, unbiased advice.

Conclusion

Remember, in the world of cybersecurity, never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line—but also, never assume you’re fully secure without a comprehensive approach. If you want to save your princess, or in this case, your data, from the evil clutches of cyber rogues, remember these lessons from The Princess Bride. And whatever you do, don’t start a land war in Asia.

So the next time someone in your organization misuses a cybersecurity term, just channel your inner Inigo Montoya and set the record straight. Because understanding is the first step to true preparedness, and there’s no room for inconceivable mistakes in the cybersecurity world.

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Jason Fruge

Consulting Chief Information Security Officer (CISO)

Jason Fruge is an accomplished Consulting Chief Information Security Officer at Secutor Cybersecurity, bringing over 25 years of deep expertise in information security. His storied career includes leading and managing robust security programs for Fortune 500 companies across retail, banking, and fintech sectors. His current role involves providing strategic guidance and advisory services to clients, focusing on security governance, risk management, and compliance.

Apart from his consulting responsibilities, Jason is an active member of the global cybersecurity community. He is a Villager at Team8, a prestigious collective of senior cybersecurity executives and thought leaders. Additionally, he serves as an Advisor at NightDragon, an innovative growth and venture capital firm specializing in cybersecurity and enterprise technologies.

Jason’s tenure as a CISO is marked by a proven track record in developing and implementing comprehensive security policies and procedures. He adeptly leverages security frameworks and industry best practices to mitigate risks, safeguarding sensitive data and assets. His expertise encompasses incident response and root cause analysis, where he has notably managed cyber incidents to prevent breaches and minimize business disruption and customer impact.

A key aspect of Jason’s role has been the creation and facilitation of executive and board-level cyber risk committees, ensuring organizational alignment and awareness. His responsibilities have extended to maintaining compliance programs for standards such as PCI and SOX, as well as leading privacy and business continuity programs. Holding prestigious certifications like CISSP, QSA, and QTE, Jason is also a recognized thought leader, contributing articles on cybersecurity to InformationWeek.

Jason’s passion lies in driving innovation and fostering collaboration in the cybersecurity field. He is currently seeking an executive CISO role in a leading retail, finance, or fintech organization, where he can continue to make significant contributions to the cybersecurity landscape.

Jennifer Bayuk

Cybersecurity Risk Management Expert

Jennifer Bayuk is a highly esteemed cybersecurity risk management thought leader and subject matter expert at Secutor Cybersecurity. Her extensive experience encompasses managing and measuring large-scale cybersecurity programs, system security architecture, and a wide array of cybersecurity tools and techniques. Jennifer’s expertise is further deepened with her proficiency in cybersecurity forensics, the audit of information systems and networks, and technology control processes.

Jennifer’s skill set is comprehensive, including specialization in cybersecurity risk and performance indicators, technology risk awareness education, risk management training curriculum, and system security research. Her academic achievements are noteworthy, holding Masters degrees in Philosophy and Computer Science, and a Ph.D. in Systems Engineering. This strong academic background provides a solid foundation for her practical and strategic approach to cybersecurity challenges.

Certified in Information Systems Audit, Information Systems Security, Information Security Management, and IT Governance, Jennifer is a well-rounded professional in the field. Her credentials are further enhanced by her license as a New Jersey Private Investigator, adding a unique dimension to her cybersecurity expertise.

At Secutor, Jennifer plays a pivotal role in steering cybersecurity initiatives, aligning them with organizational risk appetites and strategic objectives. Her ability to educate and train in the realm of technology risk has been instrumental in raising awareness and enhancing the cybersecurity posture of our clients. Her dedication to research and continual learning makes her an invaluable resource in navigating the ever-evolving cybersecurity landscape.

Jennifer Bayuk’s blend of academic prowess, practical experience, and certifications make her an indispensable part of our team, as she continues to drive forward-thinking cybersecurity solutions and risk management strategies.

Steve Blanding

CISO Consultant

CISSP, CISA, CGEIT, CRISC

Steve is an IT management consultant living in Dallas, TX. Steve has over 35 years of experience in executive IT leadership, IT governance, risk and compliance (GRC), systems auditing, quality assurance, information security, and business resumption planning for large corporations in the Big-4 professional services, financial services, manufacturing, retail electronics, and defense contract industries. He has extensive experience with industry best practices for adopting and implementing new technologies, IT service management frameworks, and GRC solutions that have dramatically improved customer satisfaction while reducing cost.

Industry Experience

  • State Government: 5 years
  • Retail: 5 years
  • Defense Contract: 5 years
  • Manufacturing: 2 years
  • Health Care: 2 years
  • Local Government: 2 years
  • Public Accounting (Big 4): 7 years
  • Insurance: 3 years
  • Financial Services: 5 years

Key Career Accomplishments

  • Conducted a full-scale ISO27000 audit 4 times over the past 6 years.  Also, conducted a “light” ISO27000 review of a small Dallas-based company in 2007.
  • Developed and authored a comprehensive IT security policy manual, incident response plans, training programs, security contingency plans and configuration management plans for FedRAMP regulatory compliance.
  • Conducted multiple DR and operational backup and recovery IT risk assessments of critical business systems on mainframe, LAN, and distributed system networks located across North America.
  • Conducted data centers audits for Tyco Corporation (Brussels, 2005 and Denver, 2006), Farmers Insurance (Los Angeles, 2006), Zurich Financial Services (Chicago, Kansas City, and Grand Rapids, 2006), and Convergys Corporation (Dallas, 2010, 2011, and 2012).
  • Led a project to remediate segregation of duties and streamline user access system security and HIPAA compliance administration across 5 regions in North America, resulting in cost savings of $700,000 per year (Kaiser Permanente).
  • Implemented Sarbanes-Oxley Section 302 and 404 IT general and application controls, reducing security administration costs and improving operational performance by 50% or $500,000 annually (Tyco Corporation).
  • Led the global SAP business-IT alignment, process re-design implementation initiative for financial accounting, materials management, production planning, quality management, sales and distribution, warehouse management, and plant maintenance, which resulted in creating $2,000,000 in cost savings.
  • Engaged by Arthur Andersen in Houston to transform the local IT organization and then direct 3 organizational mergers/consolidations, which resulted in a 25% reduction in operating costs, or $3,250,000, while improving customer satisfaction by 30%, and improving employee morale, technology availability and the quality of IT infrastructure and service delivery.
  • Assigned by Arthur Andersen global leadership to lead global project teams responsible for data center and customer support call center consolidation, which resulted in annual operational cost savings of 45% or $4,000,000.
  • Implemented ITIL service management practices for problem management, incident management, help desk, project management, and operations management.
  • Conducted SOX 404 audits at Duke Energy (6 months), Red Hat (3 months), Tyco (9 months), Zeon Chemicals (4 months), and Convergys (2 months). Experience includes control design/documentation and effectiveness testing.

Publications:

Author, various articles in EDPACS and Auerbach’s IT Audit Portfolio Series, 1981 – 2001

Author, various articles in the Handbook of Information Security Management, 1993 – 1995

Editor, Auerbach’s Enterprise Operations Management, 2002

Editor, Auerbach’s IT Audit Portfolio Series, 2000 – 2002

Consulting Editor, Auerbach’s EOM Portfolio Series, 1998 -2001

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